It’s nearly the big day!
I thought we’d all mentally prepare together, and take ourselves through just what we’re going to be faced with when we lift the lid on that glowing treasure chest to the heart-warming Zelda-esque sounds of anticipation. So here’s a rundown (and a bit of analysis) to take you straight through what you’re going to find in your Nintendo Switch box.
The Screen / Tablet
That’s a 6.2″ multitouch 720p display for those of you who weren’t furiously typing into Google translate on January 13th. A micro-sd card sits underneath the kickstand, with a game card slot on top of the tablet. Some have noted that the matte finish looks great, but scuffs incredibly easily so you might want to invest in a case before purchasing (I wonder which blog you can look at to find a comprehensive list of accessories? We’ll get on it).
A Switch Docking Station
Functions as both handheld-console conversion unit and handy wire cover.
A Pair of Joy-Con Controllers
The right Joy-Con contains an NFC reader / writer which means it’s Amiibos all round! There’s also an IR motion camera which functions similarly to the Nintendo Wii remote, but in the same way a muscle car functions similarly to a push bike. There have been some known syncing issues with old lefty however, leading to a sneaking suspicion that Nintendo might be trying to offload a cargo of pro controllers before the quarter is up.
A Pair of L and R Joy-Con Bumpers and Wrist Straps
Similar to the “don’t break your Mum’s TV” wrist straps of the 00s, the Joy Con straps will be ceremonially tossed away never to be found again after the box opening. Nintendo may have foreseen this little health and safety issue, and accordingly made the damn things impossible to remove from the controller once they’re on. A number of outlets have reported that the sliding mechanism is considerably stickier when attempting to remove the straps and bumpers. It’s not made any easier by the fact that the controllers are so tiny there’s not much surface area to get a hold of.
An HDMI Cable
More crap to ruin your TV unit zen.
A Power Cable
Contrary to popular opinion, the Switch runs on electricity and not the tears of Wii U owners holding out for a Breath of the Wild exclusive.
A Joy-Con Grip
Holding the two Joy-Cons together to form something that kind of looks like a video game controller, and not charging them in the process.
And The Boring Stuff
YAYYYY!
Musings of a Mario Minion 
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